my love don't cost a thing

all you need is love!

our jenny from the block had it so right - love really doesn't cost a penny. there are lots of different types of love, you know? like the love between two people, and the love between animals, and between species OKAY hang on this could get dark really quickly. basically, i'm trying to say that whoever you are and whatever of my blog you've read, i love you. in a warm way. maybe not that kind of love. well not yet anyway: play your cards right and let's see where the night takes us. but i want to give you something back as a sign of my love.

and after all this time i'm still into you

getting steamy with this one

turns out i really did go midnight shopping with alice last night. what a trip it was. we ended up with more than enough dross to fill our respective houses but i came away with something else, something special. it was a massive rekindling of love for this girl. i've never fallen out of love with her but last night was different - it was a long overdue emotional catch up and it felt like we both really needed it. one of those nights which really re-affirms your friendship and i'm still feeling warm inside after it.

tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that i can't say

hefty muthas 

today is a bad day. one of my headphones broke. i know it sounds dramatic but that is maybe the worst thing that could ever happen to any human anywhere ever. if both break, it's done, your fate is sealed, you just buy a new pair or listen to the world. if one breaks, you spend hours fiddling with the wires, eventually holding them in place as you walk around so you can listen to stooshe through both ears. but no, one broke. and instead of logically returning to my pink pair (god no) i went out and splurged on new ones.

i'm running out of room for your tattoos

"in the midst of things"

today was tattoo day! a very exciting day, i'm sure you'll agree, and one that comes around all too rarely for me. working in a nursery, you'd think that i'm banned from a lot of bod mod - on the contrary. thanks to a rather laid back (unaware) boss, and a really lovely team of wonderful women (and one exceptional man), i'm basically allowed to run free. it's my fault that i've stretched my ears enough for the kids to rip them out every day but that's half of the fun, right? RIGHT?

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours

i love all of you

there's nothing quite like getting a letter through the door. it's a dying art, i know, but one that i really wish people were more interested in. it's so personal, heartfelt and sentimental: a real touch of elegance. i need to write more, we all do, so if you're up for having an unreliable pen pal, let me know and we can be new (or existing) friends. anyway, letters led me to emails which, in turn, led me to junk emails and you'll really want to see how this one pans out.

the best things in life are free

I'M GOING TO DO A GIVEAWAY!

channelling my inner werewolf today

"what the fuck are you on about?"

i don't know much else (i.e any details whatsoever) but i know that i have absolutely loved blogging again and i wanted to give something back to you guys for reading my awkward crude words and making all of this possible and so enjoyable. expect something a bit more concrete in the days to come - as i said, i've got a few days off to get stuff sorted and it's all very exciting. so look forward to that.

i was born sick

current mood

the thought of a sick day is so magical. you don't have to wake up early, you can get shit done, you can relax, you can selfishly enjoy the thought of everyone else's struggle (that last one is cruel, sorry). but the reality is far from a dream. you're up early anyway, vomiting up yesterday's cinammon grahams, you're bed bound and you're missing the little ones from nursery. send help.

and there's a chapter that i keep on trying to read

what's in the box?

it's been a while since we spoke about reading and how amazing it is so, now that it's long overdue, we're going in hard. i'm talking balls deep. sorry, that was too much. wondering what this magical box is full of? keep reading, all will be revealed. (it will but it's a big anticlimax so i won't think ill of you if you go now. go on, off you go before i change my mind)

i never learnt to share

this is rosa and she's good news

it's 23:18 and my ravenous hamsters are attacking anything and everything in their cages. it's making quite the hubbub but you've got to get used to it - it's the price you pay for housing tiny nocturnal rodents in your bedroom. regardless, it got me thinking about sharing. this is going to be veeeeery tenuous, bear with me.

i took you to an intimate restaurant

the happiest new year in a while

introverts are strange creatures. we don't mean offence when we say we prefer our own company it's just being around people so much is exhausting. you've got to be switched on all the time which sounds like nothing but sometimes it's too much. consciously choosing to be happier, i went out for dinner with three of my favourites humans.

i try to say goodbye and i choke

dusky and emotional

it's been a strange kind of day. a belated end to a very manic week. i rarely write about work here (mainly down to the sheer terror that someone will sue me for revealing too much nursery information) but today it feels quite apt. it's not a rant or a confession, more of an epiphany or emotional release? it's not as emo as it sounds i promise*.

clear a little space in the corners of my mind

open to name suggestions

nothing beats that "throw everything away" feeling. your head's a mess, your room's a mess, your life's a mess. what do you do? throw that shit away. tidy up. physically cleaning seems to really help sort my head out. if my roomspace is clean and tidy, my thoughts are a lot easier to manage. so naturally, before cleaning everything, i decided to cram my room full of more absolute pointlessness.

time goes by so slowly

much patterns, many monocrhome 

when you're tired, everything is worse. your mood, your face, your ability to cope in social situations. it's an uphill struggle, one which everyone faces from time to time. today was a tiring day. no, it was exhausting. not helped by the one hour of tortured sleep from the night before but WAIT i thought i was meant to be positive? life goes on. check out some shit i bought.

you say "get over here and play your video games"

meet isaac clarke, your new favourite hero

computer games are amazing. that's something we need to agree on before we continue. not all of them, of course not, but the concept is genius. from pong to the last of us, it's been an exciting rollercoaster of distraction and discovery. i was a nerdy little shit when i was younger; chubby and wasting my hours playing my mega drive, playstation or gameboy advance. until recently, i lost interest and nothing got me hooked like it used to. then i bought a ps3 and EVERYTHING CHANGED

it's like i've got this music in my mind saying "it's gunna be alright"

WELCOME BACK PETAL

a good comeback single is crucial. "we are never ever ever getting back together" remains iconic. hard to top, we've been waiting for ms. swift to return with another absolute stormer of a song. and after tonight's yahoo stream, it looks like she's firmly back in the game.

cocaine dollar bills & my happy little pill

good album artwork 

a few months ago, i had no clue who troye sivan was. criminal, i know. he's a young and pretty homosexual who's insanely famous for very little aka what we all secretly aspire to be. but, due to my unhealthy obsession with superfruit, i did some research, watched some awkward videos and came to the conclusion that he's okay. nothing special. but then i heard he was releasing an EP and thought i'd give his music a chance. thank god i did.

go shawty, it's your birthday

this is something i made

it's my mum's birthday today! and what a lovely day it is. sunny, happy, friendly etc. we've got some family coming over which will be nice (even if i will spend most of the time hiding in my room away from awkward conversations about how much poo i touch every day and how i'm getting on after my tremendous break up and consequent meltdown) and i get to spoil my favourite lady on earth.

but it's like we're our own brat pack

we're basically in love

maybe i'm wrong. maybe humans really aren't all that bad after all. it's taken a lot of pride to swallow my words and admit that there really are nice people out there. i'm not naive or a bastard; i know there are a few diamonds in the rough. but maybe it's my age, my situation, my mindset I DON'T KNOW but i do know that i've started to recognise i'm surrounded by absolute heroes.

i'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop

everybody needs a tiny grater

working in a nice part of bristol means that the charity shops in the surrounding area are full of genuinely nice things. we're talking designer clothes, expensive looking homeware and pricey jewellery. you've got to be on top of your game if you're going to pull out a chanel necklace but your hours of attacking the rails pay off in the end. most of the time anyway.

we are beautiful no matter what they say

can i not?

today my eyebrow exploded. let me explain. i got it pierced a few weeks ago and, whilst it was steadily healing with very few problems. it turns out that daily headbutts don't do it any favours. and children's dirty hands aren't good on open wounds too. who knew? highlighting my battered eye but ignoring my woe, it got me thinking about aesthetics.

he want that cake cake cake cake cake cake

"live while we're young"

birthdays are lovely. buying presents is fun, giving presents is kind, seeing their disappointment/terror/elation once they open their cock shaped bottle opener is life affirming. in nurseries, birthdays are a big deal and, whilst working with kids has made me upsettingly aware of my own mortality, it's made me appreciate the finer things in life which we take for granted as adults.

like a candle in the wind

sorry

i spent £55 in primark yesterday WAIT COME BACK and i managed to blag nearly my own body weight in completely inessential inappropriate indecent items. shopping alone is maybe one of my all time favourite things to do. crack on some embarrassing pop, shut out the world and attack those rails like they're going out of style because they probably are.

because i'm happy

so much happiness/fear

everything is up and down isn't it? life in general, i mean. you've got to learn to take the rough with the smooth. swings and roundabouts. another age old saying about bumps in the road. but it's important to try really hard to find the positives: consciously seek out those silver linings and i promise you'll start to feel better.

make everything louder

sassy and brassy

a gay man with a penchant for female singers? i know, quashing those stereotypes every day. but really, there's something which comes with women singing sad words that strikes a chord in me. always on the lookout for girl bands since the premature dissolution of girls aloud (moment to light a candle), i came across neon jungle a few months back.

i'm as free as my hair

embrace the bald

it's no secret that my hair is thinning and receding at an alarming rate. i'll spend far too long hairspraying (/gluing) my "fringe" into place just in case i come face to face with a breeze or, heaven forbid, a gust of wind. don't even get me started on rain. regardless, there's one necessity for anyone with thin/damaged/brittle/dry/awful hair and that's an oil.

lips like morphine

dem bubba lips tho

if you've ever read anything i've written, or spent more than 15 minutes with me in real life, you'll know that lipbalms are a necessity for me. there's always two or more at the bottom of every mary poppins bag i own and 30 more in the basket at home. you might think they're a waste of money. and that's okay. but you're wrong.

the rest is still unwritten

flowers made out of words!

it's scientifically proven that reading books in your spare time makes you more intelligent and attractive to just about everybody* and it's something which i neglected until recently. as an overweight, emotionally delayed tweenager, i loved the escape that came attached to a new story and would sit in my room for hours on end churning through pages of vampire slaying action just to head back out straight after to buy another one. i might be a bit slimmer at the start of my adulthood but very little else has changed.

WELCOME, IT'S HERE

END OF AN ERA

third time lucky, right?

welcome to the new and improved "oh, mitch please!". this is my little hideaway from the real world: full of mumbles and rambles, genius and idiocy. previously, "mitch please" was almost solely a men's beauty and health blog, dedicated to reviewing new and existing products centred around making you look and feel better. it dawned on me soon after the rush of novelty wore off that:

a) my market was quite niche, definitely broader in recent years but still a minority. 

b) there were reams of blogs which were far better than mine.

c) "mitch please" offered nothing new and exciting to the world of overt metrosexuality. 

d) it felt forced. i stopped enjoying writing reviews and planning posts and eventually came to loathe publish day when it reared its ugly head.