start over

such a wise calendar

we made it. happy 2015 mothafuckaz. i don't know about you but it was lovely to see the wanker of a year out with my favourite people last night - we had a weird four way kiss at midnight and saw in this new year with some questionable singing and dancing. either way, i'm here today to talk to you about something sort of serious but, after all, this is "oh, mitch please!" so it's probably not going to be anything too drastic really is it?

another one bites the dust

fuck off 2014, you absolute bellend

well it's that time of year again when we're drowned in "new year new me" statuses and tweets. for some, it's exhausting but for others, it's quite nice to see friends so happy and determined/motivated. i'm over the moon to see how well 2014 treated a lot of you and equally as upset about how fucking tragic it was for some others. but it's done now. no point crying over spilt milk. let's just leave it in the past and then keep our heads held high, ready for 2015.

we don't take nothing from nobody

remember when i had hair?

it's just dawned on me that i will have written exactly 150 posts by the time 2014 is over. hang on now. that is a whole lot of fuckery that you've absorbed over the past 5 months and that's a whole lot of fuckery that i've e-pooed out and forced down your throats. oh god, what's happening here? let's save the emotional talk and faecal metaphors for tomorrow's "oh jesus it's nearly the new year" post. instead i want to talk to you about five feet of sheer joy that i've been lucky enough to have in my life for the best part of 8 years.

one more sleep

thank you nursery xo

that's right. christmas eve is finally here so we all know what tomorrow brings!!!?! awkward conversation, unrealistic expectations, underwhelming gifts and oversized jumpers lol jk i think it brings the break we all really need. i was lucky enough to score a half day at work today and, even though i took down all the decorations ready for our 2015 return, it was a nice end to my year there. but now i'm home with a nap under my belt, things are all a bit different.

here i am: walking primrose

maybe i'm a wanker

jesus fucking christ, this is the worst hangover i've had in a long time. maybe even worse than when i slept on the street back in my university days. i have serious beer fear right now: the only silver lining i can find is that 90% of my colleagues went home and didn't see the shit state i got into. didn't see me downing vodka shots like they were going out of fashion; didn't see me flirting with a nursery dad; and definitely didn't see me being sick in my bed (except lauren, i'm so sorry lauren)

never thought that i could be happy

dear verity, i love you

how was your day? did you dress up as a big fat gay santa, mince down some fatally slippery stairs and then stand in front of a fucking huge crowd of 0-4 year olds and their parents to pretend you're a) santa b) straight c) a good singer and d) not actually insane? okay well then take a look at the bigger picture. i went for a glass of wine after work because, well you read the second sentence and i've come home, tired, sweaty and exhausted, to be greeted with a REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND CARD SENT IN THE POST. 

baby it's cold outside

good lord, this is terrifying 

so i spent the majority of today singing christmas songs in front of 2 year olds and their parents so it's safe to say that i'm more than keen to sit the fuck down, make some snowflakes with my work wife and watch christmas films until i die. and guess what? that's what i'm going to do. so i don't really want to be writing a huge blog on all of that because it's self explanatory. i want to eat pizza and talk about boys and there's nothing you can do about it. 

i'm wishing away every day that we're apart

thank you hoops & CJ xo

MONDAY, HERE YOU ARE AGAIN YOU LITTLE BITCH. every cloud mitch, every cloud. i only have one more monday left in work until i'm free for christmas and new year!!!!!!!!!!! a week of freedom never looked so appealing. saying that, a work favourite of mine came back today bearing gifts. and my work cougar even bought me christmas presents! getting excited for the holidays. but that's then and this is now so what better way to kill time? that's right - shopping!

don't panic, breathe in slow

FRONT ROW (/what a show)

hey look listen it's probably past midnight, nullifying my "every day blog" but, frankly, i don't care because i'm a bit drunk. yes, it's a school night and no, i don't really care. it's thursday which translates to every city as "thirsty thursday" and after the week i've had, i can tell you one thing for free: i'm not thirsty for a vimto. i'm thirsty for happiness, for stimulation, for interest, for engagement, for booze. so i met up with an old boss tonight and went to an impromptu free gig because it's nearly friday.

or am i just hungover you?

these are some of my mates

as you'll know from reading yesterday's scatty post, it was my friend's 30th birthday and i turned up in an outfit that spanned several eras, none of them compliant with the dress theme. all the same, i battled through my social anxiety (no thanks to my doctor who refused to prescribe me any more meds IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL PANICKED) and danced to rock and roll in a bar full of people, 15% of whom i knew. and you know what? it was really good.

i can see clearly now the rain has gone

this was on a saturday i think

there's so many songs with saturday in the title/lyrics and that's because, as everyone knows, it's the best day of the week. an above average girl band even named themselves after this fateful lolfest. it's fucking bitter outside and christmas is fast approaching but whilst you're all out buying presents for other people because they're important and you love them, i've taken a break from that and figured i'd buy myself some nice things. rather SPECtacularly, one thing on this list is actually essential so let's raise a glass and read on.

you'll never know friends like these

more boxes

oh god, i woke up ready to blog about 3 tiny things and then everything happened and now i'm a bit flustered and it's late so forgive the mess that is my head/this post. it's always the same - i have no inspiration and get too anxious about posting something shit then i have too many things to talk about and get anxious that my post will be a mess and a rambling stream of consciousness. somewhere deep down, i already know that you guys expect one or the other so that's a silver lining if ever there was one.

there's a world outside your window

current state of mind

i'm writing to you today through the blurry eyes of a sad little homosexual, pained by insignificance, sleep deprivation and an eternal headache. i just burped and it literally resonated throughout my temples as furious echo. also, no matter the brightness of this fucking chromebook screen, any light seems to be making me feel worse. along with food, water, ticking clocks, music and any form of human interaction. but what's new there? it's only fitting to follow up an emo post with something pensive so let's do this. quickly.

& i want to thank you

i'm so thankful for you guys xo

i think it's thanksgiving. is it thanksgiving? let's all take some time to google it. DON'T WORRY I'VE DONE IT NOW and yes, it really is thanksgiving. am i american? no, not at all. but i quite like the idea of this holiday - being positive and eating loads. it's sort of like a pre-christmas bash and that's definitely okay with me because it means we can talk about festivities and all you fucking scrooges can't be hating on it because obama tells me it's okay. obama though, what a man. shall we take a moment?

darling it's better down where it's wetter

sebastian, is that you?

i booked some days off of work because it was all getting a bit much and i needed some time to chill (and sort my life out/write a book but they can wait) so today i went to the aquarium with the tiny little slice of joy that is lions, tigers & beauty. we'd never been before and, seeing as it WAS SITTING ON OUR DOORSTEP - i hate that phrase - was so close and we had a rare free saturday together, we figured we could go shark spotting and octopus ogling.

i've got 99 problems but a blog ain't one

BLOGCEPTION

it's so late and i've got so much shit to do it's quite frankly unbelievable. it's also sod's law that i have about 19000 things to blog about tonight when i'm always gasping for ideas otherwise but every section will be brief. i'm talking "a few sentences" brief. maybe i should stick to this mantra from now on to decrease the waffle but if there's anything i've learned from reading other blogs, it's that sometimes waffle is okay. that and pick your moments - there's nothing worse than when a blog ends before it even begins to decribe half of-

we built this love and we made it our empire

CLUE (also this cluster costs £3500)

rather unceremoniously, my mood has been very caustic since my big bridge-gate blog. i've been a right old pissy bitch, cancelling plans and not sleeping enough on the regular. so when i was faced with a depressed introvert's worst nightmare (seeing an old friend) i was not buzzing. but actually, as it turned out, we dipped our little feet into the pool/sea of spontaneity and it worked entirely in our favour in the sense that we had the best day of 2014 so far. there's loads of pictures to come too, so that's something to look forward to.

it's okay not to be okay

genuine warning: this particular blog isn't your regular tongue-in-cheek saturday lol-fest that you've come to expect. things have happened over the past few days (/months) which have instilled me with a sense of pride and confidence and, because of that, today's post won't riddled with rude words and irreverent comedy. instead, it's an all too realistic look back at why this blog is the way it is. it's what i've wanted to say for so long but haven't had the courage to. it's the honest truth.

you lit the fire glowing in me

what a card though

frankly, after the day i've had, i would rather shit in my hands and clap than talk about anything of substance. it's done nothing but fuel my already warped perception of the human race and, although i try to seek out the few diamonds in the rough, truth be told there is a lot of rough to trawl through. but let's not give life's bitches our time of day. let's take some time to remember that something good does happen every day and (again, because of this uninspired mess of words) that might cheer us up.

with nothing but your t-shirt on

we did it all! (stolen from k. wright) 

so these past few days have been emo central but i'm more than determined to find something positive in the mess that is my life right now. today, instead of doing my usual "god things are dire" piece, i decided to sort some fun and lovely things to do. namely, shop and eat which, as you'll know, are two of my favourite things of all time. i'm here today to tell you all about t-shirts and burgers and i don't know about you but that sounds like an ideal friday night to me.