IT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAS

can jew believe how awkward we made this?

now get the fuck off of my blog and spend some quality time with your friends and family xo

here i am: walking primrose

maybe i'm a wanker

jesus fucking christ, this is the worst hangover i've had in a long time. maybe even worse than when i slept on the street back in my university days. i have serious beer fear right now: the only silver lining i can find is that 90% of my colleagues went home and didn't see the shit state i got into. didn't see me downing vodka shots like they were going out of fashion; didn't see me flirting with a nursery dad; and definitely didn't see me being sick in my bed (except lauren, i'm so sorry lauren)

everything is black and white and grey

pure & simple

monochrome is the best, isn't it? there's something so wonderfully beautiful about black and white together. it's simple, it's effective, it's understated. 98% of my wardrobe is black, white or grey BUT there is a definite fashion faux pas hiding in there: mixing poorly matched shades together. no. unacceptable. my work jeans have faded to a painful grey/black hybrid but i make sure to wear a statement colour or white alongside it. but that's enough about how not to dress, let's talk more about black and white things.

don't panic, breathe in slow

FRONT ROW (/what a show)

hey look listen it's probably past midnight, nullifying my "every day blog" but, frankly, i don't care because i'm a bit drunk. yes, it's a school night and no, i don't really care. it's thursday which translates to every city as "thirsty thursday" and after the week i've had, i can tell you one thing for free: i'm not thirsty for a vimto. i'm thirsty for happiness, for stimulation, for interest, for engagement, for booze. so i met up with an old boss tonight and went to an impromptu free gig because it's nearly friday.

boy, don't hurt your brain

this is recycled too

well it's that time of day where i tell you just how close my head is to exploding. i couldn't face up to the reality of working a whole day today because it still feels like my skull is being forced out of the front of my face but a new one isn't there to take it's place #POETRY. so i've led in bed, in the pitch black, which still isn't enough, and thought about everything in my life because that's what you end up doing when you're almost certain that you're dying.

if we're brave enough, we won't save it up for later

this brucey did it

i've eaten a whole cake today. not a little cake either. a 6 serving, 132% of my saturated fat kind of cake. as if i can justify that, i haven't eaten much in the past two days and still feel pretty shit. also, i fancied some cake. so i did it and you know what? i DON'T regret it. but there's only so much happiness that layers upon layers of voluptuous sponge, flawless buttercream and decadent marbled cocoa swirls can bring you. the rest comes down to shopping.

back to life, back to reality

definitely don't have a bog eye 

well my time off is over and don't i fucking know it. waking up was crippling, leaving the house was brutal, actually being in work was pretty sweet because i missed it but i'm home and i feel rank. proper poorly little puppy i am right now, wrapped up all toasty because WINTER IS HERE which is one good thing i can take from today. also, massive shout out to my nursery babes for being so wonderful today (and all the time) making me feel loved and welcomed back into the warm prison that is adult life. 

everyone scream in our town of halloween

that cape did me well

okay it's not halloween but i'm revealing the winners of the giveaway tomorrow so we're having a pre-halloween party (pralloween?) right now because i just won't have time otherwise. using the term "party" very loosely because really it's just a string of a bad decisions i've made in relation to dressing up for work tomorrow. bear in mind i will be around plenty of 0-4 year olds who, last year, did not react well to my all too real portrayal of count dracula. white face and cape in tow. sorry little ones.

a little loving like valium

zooey deschanel and tyler oakley

did you know that a group of toads is called a "knot"? now that i've got your attention, we can talk about something more interesting like flowers or music. either way, it's late again (sorry) and i'm really fucking chuffed this week is finally over. granted, i've not been paid yet so my outgoings will have to worry me for another week but i feel genuinely excited that tomorrow is saturday. and you know what? today wasn't actually that bad at all.

all i want is something new

this is neither new nor relevant 

"try new things" they say "it'll do you good". tell me that again when a) i'm vomiting back up those oysters or b) soothing my itchy arse after test driving a new shaving cream and i swear to god i'll bite. but sometimes, trying new things really is good. just pick your battles because there's a lot of shit that might not necessarily be out to get you but it's sure as shit waiting in the wings, hoping you'll be allergic to it. the world is a cruel mistress but try some lactose free frozen yoghurt before you pop your clogs, it'll do you good.

but don't deny the animal

cosmic tape. how 2014 

the illness has started to wane a little today but so too has the faux happiness that came alongside the exhaustion. i couldn't sleep last night so at about 3am i was merrily jotting down all the productive things i could do over the course of my weekend. to be fair, i did sort a lot of odds and sods today and wrote an overdue letter to a far away friend (hannah, be excited) but i did something which nobody will find surprising and everyone will love which got me a trifle distracted. are you ready for this? are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

nobody knows but you might make me come alive

terrifying but full of love 

as the blog closes in on 2500 views (wait...what?) and i've written awful things about my life for 50 days straight (again, let's just take a moment) i think it's really important to send out another great fucking big "jesus christ almighty thank you". i started writing because it helped me: it's cathartic in a time when i need a release because my inability to emote is crippling me. now i write because i love it but more importantly, because you read it. so, to show my gratitude, i'm going to give some more shit away. can't say no to free shit can you?