boy, don't hurt your brain

this is recycled too

well it's that time of day where i tell you just how close my head is to exploding. i couldn't face up to the reality of working a whole day today because it still feels like my skull is being forced out of the front of my face but a new one isn't there to take it's place #POETRY. so i've led in bed, in the pitch black, which still isn't enough, and thought about everything in my life because that's what you end up doing when you're almost certain that you're dying.

lights are blinding my eyes

i just need cheering up 

look, listen, i know you've seen this picture before and i'm sorry about that: i bet you love to see a new poorly edited picture of my ugly mug next to these words every day. but, truth be told, the ever developing headache i've been nursing for the best part of two weeks has managed to become a full blown migraine and so just about everything is painful. i still wanted to blog something though. frankly i'm not really fucking sure what it'll be yet but i can tell you one thing - it won't be good. 

why would you wake me if you're not gunna save me?

i'm wearing leggings

as it turns out, i really will never be healthy again. spent last night and most of this morning stuck somewhere in between the conscious and unconscious realms - not sure i've slept for 12 hours or none at all. all i know is i listened to a lot of music in the dark and it was quite the surreal experience. music (and emotions) are a lot more raw at night and so i've been thrown from pillar to post listening to the likes of olly murs, birdy, escape the fate, pentatonix, ariana grande, jack garratt and so much more.

you got me so wrapped up

some serious mercy killing here

it shouldn't come as any shock to you that i'm ill again. i mean i've had about 3 days of good health so it's only right that i'm back in bed, shivering my way through episodes of "you deserve a drink". this is what i get for attempting to escape my house and actually socialise with people. but what do you when you're ill? rhetorical question alert that's right, play amazing games, eat chewits and watch shite films. so today's joy has come from far cry 3 and GOJIRA godzilla!

i'm the one who had to learn to build a heart made of vomit

PILLS PILLS PILLS

i used to think i was quite a "healthy" person (physically, not emotionally ofc) but after working in a nursery and keeping my head above water, i really don't think i am. these bugs that fly around work fucking slaughter me when i get them and today has been no exception. i'm a trembling, stuttering, sweaty, furious, smelly, vomiting mess. why can't i just down some beechams and get on with my fucking day? what really made today special was falling over in the shower and being sick on myself.

and this house just ain't no home

WHAT WILL THIS BECOME?

what with my mood plummeting after a second day of sickness and my overdue (now impending) meltdown on the horizon, i thought it best to get off of my pathetic ass (again, metaphorical not literal. well i am a slim white man so literally too fyi) and try to do something. here's some advice: if you're still really ill, don't try to do anything. it's really awful and can make you feel impossibly worse. take heed of my ellie goulding bicep tattoo: "every fire is a lesson learned" and BOY do i have some internal burns from an ikea trip with mon pere (no hard feelings gary)

i'm so sick (of love songs)

nectar of the gods

huge apologies for the mess that this blog post will inevitably turn out to be. i felt a bit funny last night and woke up this morning (sporadically circa 2am) feeling like i was dying: i missed work and have lost a lot of sweat over the course of the day. truth be told, if i wasn't already running out of post ideas, i am void of inspiration and positivity today. it'll be a short, sharp shock of an entry but that's okay. saves us from delving too deep (go and watch not too deep with grace helbig, it's a laugh) 

i was born sick

current mood

the thought of a sick day is so magical. you don't have to wake up early, you can get shit done, you can relax, you can selfishly enjoy the thought of everyone else's struggle (that last one is cruel, sorry). but the reality is far from a dream. you're up early anyway, vomiting up yesterday's cinammon grahams, you're bed bound and you're missing the little ones from nursery. send help.