another one bites the dust

fuck off 2014, you absolute bellend

well it's that time of year again when we're drowned in "new year new me" statuses and tweets. for some, it's exhausting but for others, it's quite nice to see friends so happy and determined/motivated. i'm over the moon to see how well 2014 treated a lot of you and equally as upset about how fucking tragic it was for some others. but it's done now. no point crying over spilt milk. let's just leave it in the past and then keep our heads held high, ready for 2015.

all these things i hate (revolve around me)

the sweetest sentiment

it's nearly christmas and, if i'm not busy being an emotional sponge then i'm wrapped up (!!!!!!) in trying to think about what to buy people regardless of impending bankruptcy. let's take a moment to think about all the niceties that are there during this festive period - sometimes we're too busy to see them. for example, one of my nursery mums only went and bought me a fucking christmas present didn't she? and it's a clarins men beauty kit. which isn't cheap. and has "mitchgcole" written all over. thankyou so much, sylvia. you BABE

lights are blinding my eyes

i just need cheering up 

look, listen, i know you've seen this picture before and i'm sorry about that: i bet you love to see a new poorly edited picture of my ugly mug next to these words every day. but, truth be told, the ever developing headache i've been nursing for the best part of two weeks has managed to become a full blown migraine and so just about everything is painful. i still wanted to blog something though. frankly i'm not really fucking sure what it'll be yet but i can tell you one thing - it won't be good. 

we are the sparks that never fade

maybe i do like girls after all

there's some things in life you've got to laugh at otherwise you'd cry. the sort of things like how tragically sly and petty some people are; poorly made decisions which a child could've judged better; the daily happenings in the life of a depressed, borderline ocd riddled bipolar 23 year old gay man. to tune it all out, there's always music. so today, after a never-ending shift, i ended up falling asleep on the bus and taking a great big fucking tour around bristol subconsciously listening to, yes you guessed it, gabrielle aplin.

we're too blind to see what's really here in front of our eyes

i think this is in bath! 

TGIF!!!!!!!! i've been back in work for a mere two days but it feels like i've been there an eternity and so i'm writing to you from the confines of my bed, lucozade and sick bucket at the ready. what a weekend this'll be. as we all know, music is a great escape. and there's one little lady who holds a special place in my heart forever and always and that's miss gabrielle aplin. yeah, she sung that john lewis song once upon a meadow but she did bloody loads before that. get ready for this new series.

i need to be heard and i'm gunna find the right words

thanks charlie simpson xo

if sunday isn't a day for hungover pensiveness (not getting a red line under it thus am pretending it's a real word) then i don't know what is. i'm not hungover but i am 100% pensive which is okay and so, even more than usual, i am wholeheartedly appreciating the words that emotionally damaged (fe)male singer-songwriters use in their music. for me, the crux of a song is the lyrics and so today i'm just going to type out lots of words which i really enjoy and hope to encourage you to spread your musical wings/ears... what?

darling it's better down where it's wetter

sebastian, is that you?

i booked some days off of work because it was all getting a bit much and i needed some time to chill (and sort my life out/write a book but they can wait) so today i went to the aquarium with the tiny little slice of joy that is lions, tigers & beauty. we'd never been before and, seeing as it WAS SITTING ON OUR DOORSTEP - i hate that phrase - was so close and we had a rare free saturday together, we figured we could go shark spotting and octopus ogling.

at worst i feel bad for a while but then i just smile

that's more like it

after all of my emotional distress recently, i think it's time we took things back to basics here on the blog. we've spoken lots about being sad and accepting that it's okay to feel like that. we've also looked at the little things you can do to be that little more positive. but we've not really looked at the really fucking silly things which can purely and simply re-instil a smile back on your face. and so tonight i think it's important to take a step back and just have a laugh because, after all (don't we know it) you're dead a long time.

you can stand right there if you want but i'm going on

and i mean every word

i just want to take this moment to thank each and every single one of you. yesterday's blog took a lot of balls for me to post and all the anxiety melted away the second it went live. over 400 of you (WHAT) have read that depressing essay (depressay? that might just be my best) and offered up even more words of support and love. some of you have spoken out about your own experiences, some have told me it gets better and some have silently appreciated it. it doesn't matter what was said or done, i'm just glad it was so well received. a heartfelt thank you. 

all the things i could do if i had a little money

bare paperz fam

they tell you money can't buy you happiness. i'm trying really bloody hard to be positive recently but if nothing else, i pride myself on being realistic. and so, it's with a heavy heart that i tell you money probably can buy you happiness. well, it can to an extent. it can buy you fucking loads of stuff that could add up to your happiness. yes, i know, you need to be happy in yourself for those things to work but i'm pretty sure that loads of surgery and a puppy would send me over the moon right about now.