l i f e // g o e s // o n

first of all, i'm so sorry. sorry i've not written to you in the best part of six months. half a year has gone by and of course i think about this place every single day. i am thankful for it being a great release and an even bigger part of my life during such a dark time. i'm most thankful to you, for reading it. maybe this is your first visit to my little corner of awkward words but luckily for you, this time it comes with a complete backstory so you're up to speed.

another one bites the dust

fuck off 2014, you absolute bellend

well it's that time of year again when we're drowned in "new year new me" statuses and tweets. for some, it's exhausting but for others, it's quite nice to see friends so happy and determined/motivated. i'm over the moon to see how well 2014 treated a lot of you and equally as upset about how fucking tragic it was for some others. but it's done now. no point crying over spilt milk. let's just leave it in the past and then keep our heads held high, ready for 2015.

never thought that i could be happy

dear verity, i love you

how was your day? did you dress up as a big fat gay santa, mince down some fatally slippery stairs and then stand in front of a fucking huge crowd of 0-4 year olds and their parents to pretend you're a) santa b) straight c) a good singer and d) not actually insane? okay well then take a look at the bigger picture. i went for a glass of wine after work because, well you read the second sentence and i've come home, tired, sweaty and exhausted, to be greeted with a REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND CARD SENT IN THE POST. 

there's a world outside your window

current state of mind

i'm writing to you today through the blurry eyes of a sad little homosexual, pained by insignificance, sleep deprivation and an eternal headache. i just burped and it literally resonated throughout my temples as furious echo. also, no matter the brightness of this fucking chromebook screen, any light seems to be making me feel worse. along with food, water, ticking clocks, music and any form of human interaction. but what's new there? it's only fitting to follow up an emo post with something pensive so let's do this. quickly.

these are just darks days that we must survive

do you know what? sometimes it's okay to admit that you've taken one step forward and two steps back. life isn't always a straight line, there's fucking loads of twists and turns along the way and we tell ourselves that those experiences shape the people we are. maybe they really do or maybe we're just clinging to any silver lining we can find. either way, i woke up today and felt like i'd taken a hundred steps back. and do you know why? no. me neither. 

gotta get down on friday

tip of the iceberg

it was black friday today and don't we fucking know it. those videos of people getting trampled and punched are really upsetting for a number of reasons - not just because it's people getting hurt but because it's such an ugly side of the human race. i'm already pretty certain we're all awful but days like today do nothing to invest more hope into us fucking cretins. i mean pulling a woman's hair to get her off of a TV with 15% off? go fuck yourself, you selfish, moronic, dishonourable mutant of a person. but, let's get back to business.

give me therapy i'm a walking travesty

childishness and joy

what can i say about today? i'm fast running out of fun things to talk about on this blog and it's becoming very ego-centric. i don't have much else going on for me except managing my own unruly emotions and trying to find too many silver linings. but a colleague bought me some stamps today just because which was adorable and also it's been a while since i posted a song but i've been saving this little gem for a rainy day. it might not be rainy but fuck it i'm posting this all the same just because it's a special kind of amazing. 

it's okay not to be okay

genuine warning: this particular blog isn't your regular tongue-in-cheek saturday lol-fest that you've come to expect. things have happened over the past few days (/months) which have instilled me with a sense of pride and confidence and, because of that, today's post won't riddled with rude words and irreverent comedy. instead, it's an all too realistic look back at why this blog is the way it is. it's what i've wanted to say for so long but haven't had the courage to. it's the honest truth.