start over

such a wise calendar

we made it. happy 2015 mothafuckaz. i don't know about you but it was lovely to see the wanker of a year out with my favourite people last night - we had a weird four way kiss at midnight and saw in this new year with some questionable singing and dancing. either way, i'm here today to talk to you about something sort of serious but, after all, this is "oh, mitch please!" so it's probably not going to be anything too drastic really is it?

we don't take nothing from nobody

remember when i had hair?

it's just dawned on me that i will have written exactly 150 posts by the time 2014 is over. hang on now. that is a whole lot of fuckery that you've absorbed over the past 5 months and that's a whole lot of fuckery that i've e-pooed out and forced down your throats. oh god, what's happening here? let's save the emotional talk and faecal metaphors for tomorrow's "oh jesus it's nearly the new year" post. instead i want to talk to you about five feet of sheer joy that i've been lucky enough to have in my life for the best part of 8 years.

one more sleep

thank you nursery xo

that's right. christmas eve is finally here so we all know what tomorrow brings!!!?! awkward conversation, unrealistic expectations, underwhelming gifts and oversized jumpers lol jk i think it brings the break we all really need. i was lucky enough to score a half day at work today and, even though i took down all the decorations ready for our 2015 return, it was a nice end to my year there. but now i'm home with a nap under my belt, things are all a bit different.

i'll never feel you if i don't tell you

thank you verity xo

there's a mere three and a half hours standing in between me and a week of festive freedom now! yes, i'm into day four of this hangover now. yes, i'm drained in every way, shape and form. yes, i've listened to "underneath the tree" too many times for it to sound even vaguely christmassy anymore. but fuck all of that, spirits are still high even if my excitement for christmas day isn't. i'm going to drink this soya hot chocolate, watch home alone 2 and think about all the things i won't be doing until january 2nd.

never thought that i could be happy

dear verity, i love you

how was your day? did you dress up as a big fat gay santa, mince down some fatally slippery stairs and then stand in front of a fucking huge crowd of 0-4 year olds and their parents to pretend you're a) santa b) straight c) a good singer and d) not actually insane? okay well then take a look at the bigger picture. i went for a glass of wine after work because, well you read the second sentence and i've come home, tired, sweaty and exhausted, to be greeted with a REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND CARD SENT IN THE POST. 

baby it's cold outside

good lord, this is terrifying 

so i spent the majority of today singing christmas songs in front of 2 year olds and their parents so it's safe to say that i'm more than keen to sit the fuck down, make some snowflakes with my work wife and watch christmas films until i die. and guess what? that's what i'm going to do. so i don't really want to be writing a huge blog on all of that because it's self explanatory. i want to eat pizza and talk about boys and there's nothing you can do about it. 

if you're the only thing i ever get for christmas

ready steady go 

okay so my pity party hasn't finished just yet and i'm back to work tomorrow so what better way to force yourself out of a funk than by spending 5 hours wrapping presents, writing cards and watching christmas films. it's been a weird weekend all in all but maybe today was what i needed to pick me up. i don't feel particularly uplifted right now but it's helped me to realise that a) i still love buying things (for other people) and b) home alone and elf are classics.

just wasting my words on everyone else

NOT TOO DEEP

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY is this real life? i can't tell. the headache is going and my vision is slowly returning but i don't know what's real anymore. feel like i've been on a weird acid trip (I) DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS. it's been a funny few days and i'm not entirely sure but i think i'm glad they're over. it's officially the weekend now so let's sit back, relax and talk about silly things - we'll save the heavy stuff for a sunday night/midweek afternoon.

you'll never know friends like these

more boxes

oh god, i woke up ready to blog about 3 tiny things and then everything happened and now i'm a bit flustered and it's late so forgive the mess that is my head/this post. it's always the same - i have no inspiration and get too anxious about posting something shit then i have too many things to talk about and get anxious that my post will be a mess and a rambling stream of consciousness. somewhere deep down, i already know that you guys expect one or the other so that's a silver lining if ever there was one.

i (don't) like mondays

serious bonding with diego

it may be the first day of the working week but my "monday blues monday poos" were nowhere to be seen because I'VE GOT THREE DAYS OFF THIS WEEK. sorry guys but it turns out that having a breakdown and forgetting about your annual holiday until the end of the year means lots of impromptu long weekends that can be spent doing lots of lovely things. so i started as i mean to go on and did a few nice things which i'm going to tell you about. i hope your mondays were alright though. 

darling it's better down where it's wetter

sebastian, is that you?

i booked some days off of work because it was all getting a bit much and i needed some time to chill (and sort my life out/write a book but they can wait) so today i went to the aquarium with the tiny little slice of joy that is lions, tigers & beauty. we'd never been before and, seeing as it WAS SITTING ON OUR DOORSTEP - i hate that phrase - was so close and we had a rare free saturday together, we figured we could go shark spotting and octopus ogling.

there's polyphonic voices in my head again

this isn't a dick pic

i was going to title this blog "i saw superman fly away" in honour of old taylor swift and also the fact that i dressed as superman for children in need today. but then i went to a kate boy gig and they blew the fucking roof off so this one is solely for them. i've mentioned them before on the blog and was buzzing for this gig. it cost me £7.50 and in the end, after an indirect tweet, they put me on the guestlist so i sped to the fleece and caught them just in time.

it's the eye of the tiger

teagan would be proud

hey guess what i'm a hippy now. perhaps a sweeping statement but one that introduces a new, fickle and "magical" interest of mine rather splendidly. after my run in with teagan the rune reader and her all too accurate depiction of my life, i've taken her advice and am attempting to "reconnect" with crystals which i used to hoard when i was but a child. somewhere down the line, i'm hoping i either realise a) they're helping and i become a fully fledged psychic like she said i would be or b) i stop wasting my money on heavy stones.

you will remember me for centuries

genuine bisous 

100 posts. 100 fucking posts everyone. who would've thought it? okay here's your chance to own up - if you really didn't think i could make it 100 days on this blog, raise your hand. consider mine raised alongside yours, don't you worry. it's been a bumpy ride, full of ups and downs, but one which i wouldn't change for the world. thank you, really and honestly, for ever finding yourself here. it sounds like i'm dying but as far as i'm aware, i'm not. here's to 100 more. posts, not years. good lord.

we built this love and we made it our empire

CLUE (also this cluster costs £3500)

rather unceremoniously, my mood has been very caustic since my big bridge-gate blog. i've been a right old pissy bitch, cancelling plans and not sleeping enough on the regular. so when i was faced with a depressed introvert's worst nightmare (seeing an old friend) i was not buzzing. but actually, as it turned out, we dipped our little feet into the pool/sea of spontaneity and it worked entirely in our favour in the sense that we had the best day of 2014 so far. there's loads of pictures to come too, so that's something to look forward to.

everyone scream in our town of halloween

that cape did me well

okay it's not halloween but i'm revealing the winners of the giveaway tomorrow so we're having a pre-halloween party (pralloween?) right now because i just won't have time otherwise. using the term "party" very loosely because really it's just a string of a bad decisions i've made in relation to dressing up for work tomorrow. bear in mind i will be around plenty of 0-4 year olds who, last year, did not react well to my all too real portrayal of count dracula. white face and cape in tow. sorry little ones.

at worst i feel bad for a while but then i just smile

that's more like it

after all of my emotional distress recently, i think it's time we took things back to basics here on the blog. we've spoken lots about being sad and accepting that it's okay to feel like that. we've also looked at the little things you can do to be that little more positive. but we've not really looked at the really fucking silly things which can purely and simply re-instil a smile back on your face. and so tonight i think it's important to take a step back and just have a laugh because, after all (don't we know it) you're dead a long time.

you can stand right there if you want but i'm going on

and i mean every word

i just want to take this moment to thank each and every single one of you. yesterday's blog took a lot of balls for me to post and all the anxiety melted away the second it went live. over 400 of you (WHAT) have read that depressing essay (depressay? that might just be my best) and offered up even more words of support and love. some of you have spoken out about your own experiences, some have told me it gets better and some have silently appreciated it. it doesn't matter what was said or done, i'm just glad it was so well received. a heartfelt thank you. 

a little loving like valium

zooey deschanel and tyler oakley

did you know that a group of toads is called a "knot"? now that i've got your attention, we can talk about something more interesting like flowers or music. either way, it's late again (sorry) and i'm really fucking chuffed this week is finally over. granted, i've not been paid yet so my outgoings will have to worry me for another week but i feel genuinely excited that tomorrow is saturday. and you know what? today wasn't actually that bad at all.

you lit the fire glowing in me

what a card though

frankly, after the day i've had, i would rather shit in my hands and clap than talk about anything of substance. it's done nothing but fuel my already warped perception of the human race and, although i try to seek out the few diamonds in the rough, truth be told there is a lot of rough to trawl through. but let's not give life's bitches our time of day. let's take some time to remember that something good does happen every day and (again, because of this uninspired mess of words) that might cheer us up.