darling it's better down where it's wetter

sebastian, is that you?

i booked some days off of work because it was all getting a bit much and i needed some time to chill (and sort my life out/write a book but they can wait) so today i went to the aquarium with the tiny little slice of joy that is lions, tigers & beauty. we'd never been before and, seeing as it WAS SITTING ON OUR DOORSTEP - i hate that phrase - was so close and we had a rare free saturday together, we figured we could go shark spotting and octopus ogling.

i guess you're wondering "what the fuck is that like?"

truth be told, i was broken-hearted at paying £13.50 to see some fish but it's nice days out like this which are the little things that hopefully add up to some real life happiness and really, after looking at it that way, it's not really that big a price to pay is it? we entered the terrifying watery tunnel and the rest is history. here's some aquatic facts we learnt - mitch cole's guide to:

"saving nearly £14 by reading these facts instead of going to an aquarium" 

1) apparently "empishere" is a word. no idea, try and google it - we had no luck.

2) there's loads of different types of fish. fucking loads of them.

these were my faves

3) "they" haven't found a lobster which has died of natural causes in ages which means it's hard to guesstimate their lifespan which, to me, means IMMORTAL ANIMAL ALERT.

4) octopuses are the emos of the animal kingdom - they might have three hearts but they all hate eachother, they die after five years and their last year of life is spent sitting on top of their eggs before they rot away. massive sad face. 

5) male seahorses have the babies. we already knew this, it's just such a lovely saturday factoid. 

much cute, many poison

6) sting rays are really ugly when they're upside down. also, most fish are really boring to look at. these aren't facts, just widely accepted opinions. 

7) tiny frogs are amazing and hidden tarantulas are underwhelming. 

8) paying £13.50 to walk around some tunnels for less than an hour isn't hugely worth it unless you're in good company and/or you abuse the gift shop at the end. 

my (moody) boo xo 

all in all, it was alright. we learnt a bit and spent a lot but it was the tiny woman i was with that made the day what it was. i treated her to a 3D shark cup (you're welcome) and we went to las iguanas for some food after. it was my first visit and i was pleasantly surprised: we got there at a weird time but it meant the "really stupidly wonderfully cheap" menu was in full flow and so i got a veggie, gluten free chilli for £5. thank you kindly, ivana. i left you a nice feedback form xo