everyone scream in our town of halloween

that cape did me well

okay it's not halloween but i'm revealing the winners of the giveaway tomorrow so we're having a pre-halloween party (pralloween?) right now because i just won't have time otherwise. using the term "party" very loosely because really it's just a string of a bad decisions i've made in relation to dressing up for work tomorrow. bear in mind i will be around plenty of 0-4 year olds who, last year, did not react well to my all too real portrayal of count dracula. white face and cape in tow. sorry little ones.

"what the fuck are you on about?"

so, after the undeniable success of the pirate and princess party this year, i've opted to dust off my dad's leather waistcoat and return to nursery as an undead mariner. this time around, i'm going hard. if not, then society tells me, i am better off going home.

to think i once ran a beauty blog

after attempting to perfect my "guyliner" (massive shout out to girls who spend their time evening out their cat-eye flicks, that shit is hard to do), i rather foolishly chose to paint my nails. let's warp back a few (/several) years to when i was an overweight goth. i used to paint my nails way back when. but only three of them - my index finger, my middle finger and my little finger. just so i could tell someone to fuck off, tell someone to "sit on it and spin" and finally to make the \m/ rock fist. what a man i was. regardless of my tireless efforts back in '06, it obviously had no long term effect because this is the state my hands are in as we speak. serves me right for buying £1.99 nail varnish, doesn't it? 

it's alright though, i can play off the poor attempt as "shabby chic" and, thinking about it now, do zombie pirates wear nail varnish? welcome to 2014. i'll be squeezing into my tightest jeans and donning a pair of chelsea boots - again, historically accurate (as the history of zombies is so rife) - before pairing it with a striped top, aforementioned oversized pleather waistcoat, too many necklaces and a bandana for good measure. but what the fuck are you going as? slutty mouse? fairy? jimmy saville? WHOOPS too soon. (never too soon, i once attended a halloween party with a housemate dressed as hitler and dead amy winehouse respectively. saw an ex boyfriend that night too, what a proud moment)

if nothing else, the kids can just be thankful that i'm not turning up as i had originally intended... finally making use of that fake blood i bought back in june xo

not a bad effort on my part i don't think