wanna do something that makes me crazy

owls are SO in right now

THE CHRISTMAS COMEDOWN STRUGGLE IS REAL. i think it's safe to say that the festivities are very much over and that means we need something new to focus on to keep us going. there's new years which is always overrated and underwhelming so let's be realistic and think about something else which is great. like free stuff. and love. or better yet, maybe both? that's right it's time for an overdue and under-appreciated "oh mitch please!" giveaway!!!!!!!!

& i want to thank you

i'm so thankful for you guys xo

i think it's thanksgiving. is it thanksgiving? let's all take some time to google it. DON'T WORRY I'VE DONE IT NOW and yes, it really is thanksgiving. am i american? no, not at all. but i quite like the idea of this holiday - being positive and eating loads. it's sort of like a pre-christmas bash and that's definitely okay with me because it means we can talk about festivities and all you fucking scrooges can't be hating on it because obama tells me it's okay. obama though, what a man. shall we take a moment?

i've got a blank space baby and i'll write your name

just call me wednesday addams

i was going to wait until my view count hit 7500 before staging another giveaway/giveaday/letter sending fiasco but i've just scrolled back through my (surprisingly infuriating) statuses and realised that on 31st august, i said thank you for helping me hit 1000 views. that means, in less than three months, you beauties have clocked/clicked up over 6000 more views. for those who aren't good at maths (hello mum xo) that's about 2000 views a month. 500 views a week. more than 70 views a day. IS THIS A THING?

you will remember me for centuries

genuine bisous 

100 posts. 100 fucking posts everyone. who would've thought it? okay here's your chance to own up - if you really didn't think i could make it 100 days on this blog, raise your hand. consider mine raised alongside yours, don't you worry. it's been a bumpy ride, full of ups and downs, but one which i wouldn't change for the world. thank you, really and honestly, for ever finding yourself here. it sounds like i'm dying but as far as i'm aware, i'm not. here's to 100 more. posts, not years. good lord.

i think i should press delete and clear my history

what an edit, i'm sure you'll agree

i'm writing this swiftly after giving myself a break from my nanowrimo hell (/heaven, just hit 10000 words and now it's like a real story WOAH) but i wanted to say that a) i missed mentioning that this here tiny, slightly awful blog finally hit over 6000 views and b) i am eternally grateful because you're all wonderful. especially since the bridgegate post, i've had so many positive comments and reams of support, both from loved ones and strangers, which is just divine.

sorry you're not a winner

WHO'S INSIDE (spoiler: everyone)

and so here it is again! giveaway day GIVE-A-DAY i always use that one but it never sticks. "stop trying to make give-a-day happen". back on track, this is where i take some time out to say thank you so much for continuing to support this blog. i hit 5000 views the other day and 6000 is already creeping up which, in three months, is unbelievable. i love each and every one of you who has clicked a link, "liked" something, shared a post or, better yet, commented on anything. this is for you.

it's okay not to be okay

genuine warning: this particular blog isn't your regular tongue-in-cheek saturday lol-fest that you've come to expect. things have happened over the past few days (/months) which have instilled me with a sense of pride and confidence and, because of that, today's post won't riddled with rude words and irreverent comedy. instead, it's an all too realistic look back at why this blog is the way it is. it's what i've wanted to say for so long but haven't had the courage to. it's the honest truth.

don't say that this is what it feels like to give your heart away

what a pick me up THX xo

it's just after 4pm and i'm "proud" to say that i have only just slithered from my bed to embrace today. after waking up intermittently from 4am until 9am, i figured the world owed me a lie in. and so here i am, overslept and underpaid, but staring at a blog view of OVER FOUR THOUSAND VIEWS. if i was able to emote, i'd cry. a beautifully justified thought hit me: it's been a fucking long time since i decided to give you guys free things so shall we have another bash at that then seeing as you're all so lovely.

before it has begun, we've already won

the epitome of my mood today

after news of a miscarriage and the horrific sight of a dying cyclist mown down on my way home from work, it's hard to find the silver linings of today. maybe it's because i'm eternally exhausted but i feel torn apart - sorry that my giveaway day is tainted by such sad news but i pride myself on portraying a realistic persona through social media. my life isn't any better or worse than yours, it's just different and that's what people need to understand. okay, let's combat all this horror with some niceties, eh?

nobody knows but you might make me come alive

terrifying but full of love 

as the blog closes in on 2500 views (wait...what?) and i've written awful things about my life for 50 days straight (again, let's just take a moment) i think it's really important to send out another great fucking big "jesus christ almighty thank you". i started writing because it helped me: it's cathartic in a time when i need a release because my inability to emote is crippling me. now i write because i love it but more importantly, because you read it. so, to show my gratitude, i'm going to give some more shit away. can't say no to free shit can you?

the best things in life are free

my body is ready

today is the day we've all (...) been waiting for. it's giveaway day! GIVEADAY. nope, doesn't really work sorry. but it really is the day when i round up the names of all of you babes who have spoken to me about basically anything related to "oh, mitch please!" and let the internet decide which diamond i give wonderful things to. if i had it my way, i would give stuff to everyone. but i'm not rich or jesus so two of you will have to do for now. sorry everyone else xo

my love don't cost a thing

all you need is love!

our jenny from the block had it so right - love really doesn't cost a penny. there are lots of different types of love, you know? like the love between two people, and the love between animals, and between species OKAY hang on this could get dark really quickly. basically, i'm trying to say that whoever you are and whatever of my blog you've read, i love you. in a warm way. maybe not that kind of love. well not yet anyway: play your cards right and let's see where the night takes us. but i want to give you something back as a sign of my love.

the best things in life are free

I'M GOING TO DO A GIVEAWAY!

channelling my inner werewolf today

"what the fuck are you on about?"

i don't know much else (i.e any details whatsoever) but i know that i have absolutely loved blogging again and i wanted to give something back to you guys for reading my awkward crude words and making all of this possible and so enjoyable. expect something a bit more concrete in the days to come - as i said, i've got a few days off to get stuff sorted and it's all very exciting. so look forward to that.