Sunday, 9 November 2014

i think i should press delete and clear my history

what an edit, i'm sure you'll agree
i'm writing this swiftly after giving myself a break from my nanowrimo hell (/heaven, just hit 10000 words and now it's like a real story WOAH) but i wanted to say that a) i missed mentioning that this here tiny, slightly awful blog finally hit over 6000 views and b) i am eternally grateful because you're all wonderful. especially since the bridgegate post, i've had so many positive comments and reams of support, both from loved ones and strangers, which is just divine.


"what the fuck are you so happy about?"

i'm so fucking happy that this is still going. i'm about to hit 100 posts (wait a minute what is going on here?) which is both amazing and saddening in equal measure. amazing because it means i've proved i can actually commit to something for a reasonable amount of time but also saddening because it means i've always had time to blog and thus haven't had loads of plans or been too busy. but i guess that comes alongside having a real life official breakdown and hiding away from nearly everybody else. in fact, i quite like coming home to blog every day - it's a little comedown. my escape from reality and time for myself which, as many of you will know, i enjoy far too much. that sounds weird and i didn't mean it like that.

what have you guys done in the last 100 days? that's not a challenge like "look at all the shit i've done!" because, frankly, there's not that much excitement in the 100 posts. no holidays, life achievements or anything big like that. just lots of tattoos, impulse purchases, letters and emotions. but that's not a bad thing. really it's just got me thinking about 100 days in the future. it'll be the new year. 2015.

"oh fucking hell, it's emo hour"

no description necessary
what do you guys want to achieve next year? i have this awful tendency to tell myself "oh, this year will be so much better than last year!" and then everyone dies or i lose all sense of self or i feel like giving up. but with a lot of hindsight and even more drive, i'm determined to make sure next year is a good one. i realise this is 2 months early but here's my pledge to be more positive in 2015. fuck it. here's my pledge to be more positive for the rest of my life.


i'm not going to lie about trying to eat healthily, joining a gym or making effort with people i've not seen in years. right now, in the most self-righteous way, it's time to do me. and that's what i'm going to do. little mix even told "you do you, and i'll be me. time for me to move on, nothing left to see" & that is ultimately how i feel about 2014. goodbye you little wanker of a year, i'll be more than happy to see you go xo

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