my love don't cost a thing

all you need is love!

our jenny from the block had it so right - love really doesn't cost a penny. there are lots of different types of love, you know? like the love between two people, and the love between animals, and between species OKAY hang on this could get dark really quickly. basically, i'm trying to say that whoever you are and whatever of my blog you've read, i love you. in a warm way. maybe not that kind of love. well not yet anyway: play your cards right and let's see where the night takes us. but i want to give you something back as a sign of my love.

i've been writing these messy, awkward posts for less than a month and i woke up a few days ago and realised that over 1100 of you little creepers have found yourself here. that, on its own, amazes me. that you'd want to read about a stranger's/estranged friend's life. i find myself reading blogs and watching youtube videos as an escape - you can distance yourself from reality whilst staying firmly realistic. it's cathartic, it's interesting and, most importantly, it kills time. the thought that any of you find the things i write interesting or relevant or even time consuming ; that you spend any time paying attention to what i do is magical. and i am honestly and genuinely grateful. so, thank you.

it's been a weird few months for me and i guess that's where "oh, mitch please!" came into the mix. writing things down really helps me to suss them out. problems are realised, solutions seem more obvious and a weight is ultimately lifted from my shoulders. whilst the slithers of emotion are rare and shrouded in bleak comedy, they're definitely present and i hope they're not too diabolical. i learnt to laugh about the silly little things in my life and, very quickly, that turned to laughing at just about everything and making light of dark situations. there's only so long you can go on pretending to laugh before you crack.

trying to show gratitude via dopey smile

but, sadly, emo hour is over. onto the goodies!

"what the fuck are you on about?"  

 and 

"how the fuck do i get free stuff?" 

but, more importantly

"what the fuck are you giving away?" 

god, pipe down guys, i'll get there in good time. touching back to emo hour just for a slither, that any of you ever tweet, comment, share, message, text and (heaven forbid) talk to me in real life about this place is wonderful. it's so affirming to see that a) you've enjoyed something and b) i'm doing something right (me me me, sorry). i wholeheartedly appreciate it and, if you know me, you'll know how rarely i am genuine and heartfelt so lap it up while you can motherfuckers.

"what the fuck are you on about?"

i would love to think that somewhere out there in the vast terrifying space of the internet, there is someone who could benefit from my crude words. maybe they've helped you and that's a thought which fills me with absolute joy. that someone in such a strange place in their life could help someone else really gets me by. and so i need your "help".

"how the fuck do i get free stuff?"

maybe, just maybe, this hypothetical person doesn't know about "oh, mitch please!" (much like the rest of the world). maybe you've read something which struck a chord in you and you thought "okay yes well done mitch". maybe you laughed at something, or pitied a bad decision i've made. regardless, just talk to me about it. let me know. tweet me, text me, message me, share a favourite post of yours, awkwardly approach me in real life and watch me become really bashful and ashamed and then slink away to a tree to read my book alone and think about you. weird. fuck, write me a letter PLEASE. do any of these things and your points could mean prizes.

okay, skip to the end "what the fuck are you giving away?"

ANYTHING. okay, well, terms and conditions apply guys. anybody who contacts me in any way shape or form will be entered into a (hopefully) monthly giveaway draw! and your prize? you can choose. scroll back through the blog and find something which i've spoken about and that you would like. don't be a prick and ask for the charity shop clock because, honey, i doubt there's another one going spare and you certainly ain't getting mine. but things that are widely available and that i have spoken about are on the table. if you hate everything then a) cheer up and try something new or b) tell me something you do like and i'll see what i can rustle up. i'll also be sending a heartfelt letter filled with chickenscratch handwriting and love.

poorly lit potential prizes WOW

i will be announcing two winners on september 14th so two weeks today is your deadline. that's an aggressive word. "cut off"? still just as bad. "final date"? dark. but if the "competition" goes well and you miss out this time around, there will hopefully be another giveaway later down the line so have a bash as that, eh? 

this isn't an exercise in ass kissing at all. i just don't have many other ways to show you guys how genuinely thankful i am that you've taken an interest in my bleak and, frankly very uneventful, life. there's only so many "emo hours" i can have (that's definitely becoming a new segment so you can all consciously avoid hefty cheesy posts like this) before you guys switch off and i sound like every other "grateful" graham. and i hate to say it again, but thank you. your clicks, visits, comments, words and tweets mean more to me than you will probably ever know. and that's god's honest truth.

good luck! and i can't wait to hear from you. (god i really do, please let more than 3 people enter)
TELL YOUR FRIENDS xo