all i want is something new

this is neither new nor relevant 

"try new things" they say "it'll do you good". tell me that again when a) i'm vomiting back up those oysters or b) soothing my itchy arse after test driving a new shaving cream and i swear to god i'll bite. but sometimes, trying new things really is good. just pick your battles because there's a lot of shit that might not necessarily be out to get you but it's sure as shit waiting in the wings, hoping you'll be allergic to it. the world is a cruel mistress but try some lactose free frozen yoghurt before you pop your clogs, it'll do you good.