like a candle in the wind

sorry

i spent £55 in primark yesterday WAIT COME BACK and i managed to blag nearly my own body weight in completely inessential inappropriate indecent items. shopping alone is maybe one of my all time favourite things to do. crack on some embarrassing pop, shut out the world and attack those rails like they're going out of style because they probably are.

you can take as long as you like when you shop alone because nobody else is there. if you're like me, you're free to carry a plethora of things and end up buying none: try everything on and feel too embarrassed to not say "yes" to everything: or have something in mind, shop for seventeen hours and then head back to square one to buy those £3 pants after all.

maybe this is your favourite segment. regardless, here is "what the fuck have you bought?"

this is the champion of £2 candles 

during my offensive primark haul i got:

a baseball jersey

an oversized tee

a gingham polo

pleather "converse"

tiny grey chukka boots

a lion phone case

a gorilla phone case

a bloody huge candle

a shoddy lip balm

two bottles of tacky nail varnish (bear with me) 

a skull watch

an aztec watch 

now, i'm no primark veteran but i'd say those were good innings. a lot was in the sale and i know what you're thinking - "you must be scum of the earth to scrounge through a primark sale" and you're probably not far off the money. i'm a shamelessly big fan of cheap fashion though. you buy this dross for pennies, wear it for the few weeks it's 'in style' and then, when it inevitably breaks, you can go and reinvent your wardrobe all over again. sure, you need some staple items in there but there's bags of room for leverage.

about 90% of this shit is black and white which doesn't do much for my "okay it's summer, let's stray away from monochrome for a few months" mantra but fuck the haters black and white is timeless, classy and versatile. also, the nail varnish is to paint nice things like pegs and pens and the odds and sods to make them glittery and rainbowy just in case every tiny detail of my life wasn't gay enough.

SO KOOKY

c'mon, you can admit it. you've got a few things from good old primarni. maybe you don't go balls deep for a £55 haul but we've all picked up a £2 vest and hoped nobody would see. what are you wearing? (not like that but asl srsly)