Saturday 13 June 2015

l i f e // g o e s // o n

first of all, i'm so sorry. sorry i've not written to you in the best part of six months. half a year has gone by and of course i think about this place every single day. i am thankful for it being a great release and an even bigger part of my life during such a dark time. i'm most thankful to you, for reading it. maybe this is your first visit to my little corner of awkward words but luckily for you, this time it comes with a complete backstory so you're up to speed.

Thursday 1 January 2015

start over

such a wise calendar
we made it. happy 2015 mothafuckaz. i don't know about you but it was lovely to see the wanker of a year out with my favourite people last night - we had a weird four way kiss at midnight and saw in this new year with some questionable singing and dancing. either way, i'm here today to talk to you about something sort of serious but, after all, this is "oh, mitch please!" so it's probably not going to be anything too drastic really is it?


Wednesday 31 December 2014

another one bites the dust

fuck off 2014, you absolute bellend
well it's that time of year again when we're drowned in "new year new me" statuses and tweets. for some, it's exhausting but for others, it's quite nice to see friends so happy and determined/motivated. i'm over the moon to see how well 2014 treated a lot of you and equally as upset about how fucking tragic it was for some others. but it's done now. no point crying over spilt milk. let's just leave it in the past and then keep our heads held high, ready for 2015.

Tuesday 30 December 2014

we don't take nothing from nobody

remember when i had hair?
it's just dawned on me that i will have written exactly 150 posts by the time 2014 is over. hang on now. that is a whole lot of fuckery that you've absorbed over the past 5 months and that's a whole lot of fuckery that i've e-pooed out and forced down your throats. oh god, what's happening here? let's save the emotional talk and faecal metaphors for tomorrow's "oh jesus it's nearly the new year" post. instead i want to talk to you about five feet of sheer joy that i've been lucky enough to have in my life for the best part of 8 years.

Monday 29 December 2014

it's people like you that make the world go 'round

monday cuddles with this bear
and just like that, my bad mood is no more. turns out going shopping really does help with "s.a.d" and i encourage all of you to brave the shops now because town wasn't as apocalyptic as it's been over the past few days (granted i've just been for two hours in 1 degree heat at 5pm but that's by the by). there were a few lovely things that happened during my session today which i want to share with you because it might instil you with some faith in the world. if you already have faith, what are you doing on this blog???!!?!

Sunday 28 December 2014

wanna do something that makes me crazy

owls are SO in right now
THE CHRISTMAS COMEDOWN STRUGGLE IS REAL. i think it's safe to say that the festivities are very much over and that means we need something new to focus on to keep us going. there's new years which is always overrated and underwhelming so let's be realistic and think about something else which is great. like free stuff. and love. or better yet, maybe both? that's right it's time for an overdue and under-appreciated "oh mitch please!" giveaway!!!!!!!!


Saturday 27 December 2014

in the mall thuggin', buggin', spent a few hundred

post sales meltdown SO MUCH CHEEK
silly me thinking that the world would've calmed down after christmas and boxing day. i thought i would brave the outside world and have a quiet, casual look at what deals were on offer in the shops to buy with my christmas money (because i have around 18p in my account so online shopping i.e MY FAVOURITE MIND was out of the question). as it turns out, i ended up cowering in boots' feminine care aisle for fear of being trampled and killed. but that's by the by, i still bought shit of course. 

Friday 26 December 2014

nobody loved me like you

thanks mum xo 
well look at that, christmas is over for another year and we're all feeling a bit fatter and probably depressed that our next break is a year away. but we've still got a while until the new year so let's make the most of what we've got. i, for one, had a fucking lovely christmas - spent it, as always, with my family, seeing a few special people amidst my mum's hitler regime for the day. one of those special people is someone you may or may not know so it's time to get everything off my chest before 2015.

Thursday 25 December 2014

IT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAS

can jew believe how awkward we made this?
now get the fuck off of my blog and spend some quality time with your friends and family xo

Wednesday 24 December 2014

one more sleep

thank you nursery xo
that's right. christmas eve is finally here so we all know what tomorrow brings!!!?! awkward conversation, unrealistic expectations, underwhelming gifts and oversized jumpers lol jk i think it brings the break we all really need. i was lucky enough to score a half day at work today and, even though i took down all the decorations ready for our 2015 return, it was a nice end to my year there. but now i'm home with a nap under my belt, things are all a bit different.