it's my dick in a box

oh god what's inside?!?!

okay it's not really my dick in a box but i pride myself on having a lyrically relevant title that relates to that day's content and finding a decent song about parcels, packages or deliveries is hard work and, frankly, after a long ass day it's not the kind of thing i'm too worried about doing. but yes, you've guessed it (/i revealed it) - i got a parcel today and that's basically a good enough reason to write a blog is it not? it'll be really quick i promise. short and sweet, just like me "LOL JK" i'm awkward and bitter whoops.

i'm not sure which segment is more relevant so we'll do a "what the fuck have you bought?" meets "what the fuck is that like?" kind of hybrid just to keep things fresh here at "O, MP!"

because i've been feeling like a fucking troll for most of the month, i've been very frivolous with my money. i may well be funding the whole of amazon at the rate i'm going but that's absolutely fine or definitely unacceptable: i'll let you decide. regardless of your stance, be it fun or lame, there's a lot of shit on its way to me over the next few days/weeks/months. am i the only one who is okay with ordering stuff from japan and waiting yonks for it to arrive? a) when it comes, you've forgotten about it so it's nice little surprise pick me up and b) it was ordered so long ago that it's practically free, non?

like rihanna said "the wait is ova"

today's parcel was left up the road because my postman didn't look at what he was doing and bundled reams of packages together and threw them at this poor guy's door YOU HAD ONE JOB POSTY. he did, however, leave me an awkward voicemail telling me what he'd done. and it turns out the guy at #13 is bald and hairy and has a dog and is really lovely. hello fate (/hello inevitable heterosexuality and estranged wife). he stopped his german shepherd tearing the gay right out of me and gave me the package (i wish etc). so i ran home, ate a roast and opened it.

make good decisions

paperchase is maybe my favourite shop ever. it's definitely up there with boots, waterstones, hmv and any charity shop. i forgot that i had spent the best part of £40 on unnecessary stationary but now that it's come, i finally realise its importance. stickers, ink pads, writing sets, envelopes, washi tape: it's all the components of a perfect letter. i might have only just blogged about sending a horde of letters out but hearing from those babes that received stuff made me happy so i'm going to do it again and there's nothing you can do stop me. in fact, why not say hello and give me your address (i can't promise not to head over if i find out you're hairy and own a dog) so that i can send

 you some love. that'd be nice for everyone involved, wouldn't it? the letter i mean, not the stalking.

that's all for today. really though, that's it xo