gotta get down on friday

my potential friday face

it's the end of the week and that can only mean one thing, right? eat loads of crunchies and cry about being single. if that's not what you're into, maybe hang out with some friends and have a few (hundred) cocktails. if you're poor/off the booze/socially inept/a closeted introvert/a maniac (delete as applicable), here i give you the IDEAL WEEKEND IN. and what a weekend it could turn out to be. it also has every potential to ruin your life and set you back years but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

"what the fuck are you on about?" seems very apt today.

number one

my current friday face

celebrate the fact you've got next week off of work because it's really fucking stressing you out at the moment and you can't wait to pretend that it's not going to be even more stressful when you come back and deadlines are looming closer. it'll be fun feeling like you're out of the loop all over again and having the kids look at you like you've abandoned them in favour of eating dry cereal alone in bed. but that's okay because you're getting paid to do nothing. if you've not got time off of work then GOOD LORD enjoy the weekend. stop reading this abysmal post and have a vino in honour of your all too temporary freedom.

B

read more of that book that's been lying on the side for the past few months. it was made to get read and if you don't read it, who will? i've written about how many bonus sex points people get when they read things and you could probably do with adding a few to your collection if you've braved it to point number two in a hope you'll find some real advice hidden in this farce of a blog post.

THREE

this is the size of my ear hole now

make a list of all the nothings you want to do. bide your time well. try not to spend too many hours watching the same episode of will & grace because it reminds you of your lost love. try to get shit done. move your bedroom around. stretch your ears again. buy something shiny off of ebay for pence. write a letter. paint your nails. dye your hair. shave your arse. donate half of your wardrobe. sleep for days. see a friend. have a walk. buy some flowers for your mum because she's really lovely and looks super pretty for how deceitfully old she is. 

#4

find a new favourite youtuber. i've only recently come across the world of "famous for basically nothing but very funny and often quite attractive" people but it's one i'm really into. it's taken priority over tv shows, any games and most social interaction. superfruit is a good channel - originally very funny and now disappointingly "too good for it" but i'm hooked. everyone knows the likes of tyler oakley, troye sivan, zoella, pointlessblog etc and if not then take a few hours out of your "wild weekend" to have a look/laugh. i've come to the conclusion that me and mamrie hart would probably be best friends if we met.

cinq

last but not least, just enjoy yourself. life's too short to be worrying about trivial things so switch off from the real world or get totally engrossed in it. have a good time because, i've no doubt, when monday rears its fuck ugly face once again, you'll be wishing away the days until you can simultaneously cut your toenails and wonder what your life would be like if you were a young, gay, british hannah montana from the safety of your own den.

"what the fuck is that song?"

it's the weekend so what better music to listen to than songs about dying in the sea? hugely overdue and definitely relevant, this is an old favourite and a very special song to me: "dead in the water", lifted from her second album halcyon, is one of ellie goulding's best songs to date. it's ethereal, it's elegant, it's emotional, it's honest, it's raw, it's poetic, it's dramatic, it's understated, it's sparse and it's perfect. when those strings come in at 2:45 though. goosebumps. every time.