sometimes i want some raccoon or red highlights

you've seen this picture already

with a fresh "do" and the urge to experiment with the last remaining few hairs on my head before they all prematurely fall to the ground, i bought bleach yesterday. if you follow my daily happenings you'll know that already so sorry. i'm ready to jump aboard the "grey silver hair" bandwagon because i've not seen many guys rocking that severe look and it's something i've been putting off for ages due to lack of testicles (metaphoric, not realistic. everything's okay down there WOW this got weird quickly)

"what the fuck are you on about?"

well here's a "how not to bleach your hair at home" step by step guide! 

buy some bleach but do very little research into the science of it all. also, take the advice of a hairdresser at face value that your thinning and receding hair won't be too damaged by it because it's just been cut. prepare for disaster.

channelling in inner miley

go out and buy a trendy high street brand of bleach. "bleach london" looks very urban outfitters and comes with a selection of moronically titled garish dyes to use after you've stripped your follicles of their will to live. they'll give you the false idea that you too could look like a tumblr girl but you won't, sorry xo 

ask your dad to help you. he's dyed your mum's hair and is actually good at this type of thing even if he does scald your head with searing hot aqua. you might get bleach powder in your eyes and on your dungarees but really it's your fault for going ahead with all of this.

OH GOD IT'S HAPPENING

leave it on for that little bit too long in fear of another yellow head fiasco. buy silver shampoo to routinely use just in case there's tinges of yellow in there and make sure you squeeze that whole fucking tube of repairing mask on your head. you'll thank me/it later.

don't look in the mirror until the last minute and then be semi surprised that it's really not as life endingly awful as you thought it'd be. i mean, it'll probably be a bit yellow, especially if you're wearing a white top, but it's passable. get that silver toner on it asap.

and that, girls and boys, is a lackadaisical step by step DIY guide to bleaching your hair at home for the first time. i'm more than keen to get a grey/silver colour on the go, none of this mermaid turqoise bullshit, but i can't find a decent permanent grey dye anywhere so send links/advice/love if you know anything about my next few steps.

anyway, here's the finished product. good luck. seriously though xo 

i didn't intend to look this smug