i won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

lots of shit stuff, probably some good

i've said it before and i'll say it again. it really is the finer things in life that we should be paying more attention to. the bigger picture is probably fucking dreadful, i'm with you on that one, but the tiny ingredients that add up to the catastrophe are much less daunting when you separate them. this should be applied to everything - it's a great coping mechanism if you're having a shite old day. and today has been one of those shite old days so let's take a look at the little things shall we? maybe there's something lovely in there
 (spoiler: there is)

"oh fucking hell, it's emo hour" is apt but it sort of leads into "what the fuck are you so happy about?"

finding a silver lining is tough at the best of times, let alone when you feel like you're hitting bottom (no gay jokes thank you very much, i'm trying to be serious this evening) but you've got to have a go. there's nothing worse than someone bathing in their own self-pity, letting themselves drown in an ocean of pathetic helplessness. find that tiny reserve of hope/energy/love/happiness/emergency adrenaline and do one last good thing before you write your day/week/month/year/life off. there's got to be something.

work was stressful today. we're back up to having far too many children in a room at once and the amount of bodies is stressful enough without the impending doom of 16 turd riddled toddlers screaming to have their deadly arses wiped. but, do you know what i did? i looked really hard for that silver lining. and it came in the form of a 2 year old girl. obviously, i can't divulge anything about her except for the fact that she's a dream come true and made my day with just five words.

going to keep this forever

"the snake is gone, mitchy". what a fucking sentence. it's silly, i know it's silly, but it got me thinking. not just about how adorable this little girl is but how her whole life is shaped around early experiences. how her perception of a shell is so different to mine. how people think 2 year olds are stupid and yet how obviously observant and rational this little one is. how that one sentence led onto brand new conversations with other children and adults all about nature. and, more importantly, how proud i am that i do this job.

it's never going to be perfect. fuck me, there's a lot about my job i would change but it's moments like that you've got to hold onto otherwise, when you're having a "shite old day" and you've forgotten the good, it'll feel like it's not worth it anymore. it's about remembering the two absolute beauties that stayed with you after work to go through your folders. it's about remembering that people are always in the same boat as you. it's about remembering that everyone has their baggage, they're all in the midst of things. it's about remembering that today was fucking awful but tomorrow has the potential, even minutely, to be better.

back to basics and "what the fuck is that song?"

it's "step it up" by bianca. there's not much to say about this song except it's very 80s, very kylie, very queer, very good and very happy. infectiously so. listen to it after a shite old day, i promise you'll feel better. maybe you like the opposite gender though then i can't promise anything, sorry xo