and i am a material girl

send help SOS

why is buying stuff so much fun? whether i'm browsing a local charity shop or savagely searching for a sale top in zara, there's that rush. don't even get me started on internet shopping CHRIST ALIVE that's another kettle of fish. i know some people are savers but really, in the end, it gets spent on a house or a car or a holiday or some surgery. and right now, i am about as far from buying those things as humanly possible so, whilst i'm young and irresponsible, i too often think "oh fuck it, i need another black and white candle holder". 

"what the fuck are you on about?" 

massive props to you if you're a saver. i used to be top notch at that: hiding money away; saving up my pennies; actually paying money from my wages into a savings account. but then things happened. i started earning real money, realised buying stuff made me happy, went to uni and turned into an "adult". it's all downhill from there. there's something in me, a trigger, that associates new things with happiness and security. really, it shouldn't be that way - it's cripplingly materialistic and spending money sends you further away from economic security. is "#yolo" a valuable counter-argument at this point? it doesn't matter: coming home to a letter or a package (careful) is so exciting, it's like you're a child all over again. 

i think my family have/had a similar problem. my mum always talks about how she sorted my dad out and got him to stop spending so stupidly and settle down with her. we've never been rich, far from it, but they've had enough money to send us on holiday and buy a car and finally pay off their mortgage, which was about 10% of 2014 prices, thirty or so years later. my dad still orders just about everything he can on the internet (WHY his wife let him buy a laptop, i'll never be sure) and our tab is very hesitant to throw anything away. so here i am, the product of an impulsive buyer and a horder. doomed from day one, if you ask me. 

but it's that time of week again kids! "what the fuck have you bought?"

charity shop runs with lauren (hello petal) are fatal. you'd think i'd be better off with someone else to talk me down from my potential purchase high. but no, it just eggs me on. i came away with more books. more books, everyone. 

never judge a book by its cover 

this isn't as light as it looks. it's written by a doctor who worked in vietnam and then came home as one of his sons committed suicide and another died of leukaemia. he worked as a psychotherapist for years after and his book is all about the rules of life and coming to accept the (often all too harsh) realities that we have to face up to. i don't know if i'd call it a self help book but a) it's probably not far off and b) i'm okay if it is. right now, it sounds like something right up my street. i'll let you know what the fuck it's like later down the line. 

who doesn't love fred perry? it's timeless, it's good quality, it's iconic. fun fact: fred perry, the tennis pro himself, created the first ever sweatband. you learn something new every day and YOU'RE WELCOME. go and impress someone with that. anyway, this is navy (aka sinful against my 90% black wardrobe) and it's a size too big but it's so fucking comfy and cost me £6 so let's all calm down and think about the bigger picture, right? 

this is england 90 is being filmed soon, fyi

why not treat yourself and buy something nice tonight? go on, it is tuesday after all. you know what they say about tuesdays. (nothing but just buy something anyway, it'll make me feel better about my own life ruining problem and you'll have new things! win win)