we don't take nothing from nobody

remember when i had hair?

it's just dawned on me that i will have written exactly 150 posts by the time 2014 is over. hang on now. that is a whole lot of fuckery that you've absorbed over the past 5 months and that's a whole lot of fuckery that i've e-pooed out and forced down your throats. oh god, what's happening here? let's save the emotional talk and faecal metaphors for tomorrow's "oh jesus it's nearly the new year" post. instead i want to talk to you about five feet of sheer joy that i've been lucky enough to have in my life for the best part of 8 years.

"what the fuck are you so happy about?"

it seems fitting that as this year draws to a close, i write about someone who has been a beacon of love and hope for me over the course of these tragedy laden 365 days. her name is alice and she has a wonderful blog here and a rather glorious youtube channel here. as amazing as they are, i don't want to talk about them (sorry petal). alice is a dream. we've spent a lot of our formative years together, enjoying similar things and hating just as many too but that doesn't mean we're the same person. okay, granted, today we both wore all black and basically looked like a) siblings or b) a couple who eventually merge into one person. but i'm into that. we went shopping, we ate some food, we spoke about life and we fell deeper in love. i don't really like/believe in soul mates but this bitch is the one for me. we've got matching tattoos and i want the world to know. 

myspace called

i woke up in an awful mood this morning. really gloomy and dark, didn't really want to get up and see the day out. but i knew i was seeing my princess and that was enough to get me going. without even knowing it, she's infinitely perked me up just by being alive. as dark as it sounds, i still have those days where i think about what would've happened if i was at the bottom of that bridge and alice's face is one of the first to crop up. she's a big reason as to why i'm still here so if you ever enjoy something i've written here, go and say thank you to her. days like today really highlight her importance - that sounds selfish and maybe it is but i am so lucky to have this girl in my life. 

go and text your favourite human. or text someone you've not spoken to in years. an estranged ex. an old friend you lost touch with. a homophobic uncle. just let them know that 2014 is nearly done and you still think about them. maybe even ask them to be a bigger part of your 2015. remember, it's a concious decision to be happy so just have a fucking go at it. not for me, but for you xo

"what the fuck is that song?"

it's the climb xo