i've got a blank space baby and i'll write your name

just call me wednesday addams

i was going to wait until my view count hit 7500 before staging another giveaway/giveaday/letter sending fiasco but i've just scrolled back through my (surprisingly infuriating) statuses and realised that on 31st august, i said thank you for helping me hit 1000 views. that means, in less than three months, you beauties have clocked/clicked up over 6000 more views. for those who aren't good at maths (hello mum xo) that's about 2000 views a month. 500 views a week. more than 70 views a day. IS THIS A THING?

you will remember me for centuries

genuine bisous 

100 posts. 100 fucking posts everyone. who would've thought it? okay here's your chance to own up - if you really didn't think i could make it 100 days on this blog, raise your hand. consider mine raised alongside yours, don't you worry. it's been a bumpy ride, full of ups and downs, but one which i wouldn't change for the world. thank you, really and honestly, for ever finding yourself here. it sounds like i'm dying but as far as i'm aware, i'm not. here's to 100 more. posts, not years. good lord.

a little loving like valium

zooey deschanel and tyler oakley

did you know that a group of toads is called a "knot"? now that i've got your attention, we can talk about something more interesting like flowers or music. either way, it's late again (sorry) and i'm really fucking chuffed this week is finally over. granted, i've not been paid yet so my outgoings will have to worry me for another week but i feel genuinely excited that tomorrow is saturday. and you know what? today wasn't actually that bad at all.

you lit the fire glowing in me

what a card though

frankly, after the day i've had, i would rather shit in my hands and clap than talk about anything of substance. it's done nothing but fuel my already warped perception of the human race and, although i try to seek out the few diamonds in the rough, truth be told there is a lot of rough to trawl through. but let's not give life's bitches our time of day. let's take some time to remember that something good does happen every day and (again, because of this uninspired mess of words) that might cheer us up.

and since we found out anything could happen

what went wrong?

do you ever get those days riddled with hindsight and sheer fear of the future? days where you remember what life was before you turned into an adult and did adult things like work for a living and have responsibilities and worry about phone bills and have little free time to wipe your own arse? after a frantic week, today has turned out to be one of those days. it's the quiet comedown from my stressful high and i hate every second of it. well not every second.

it's my dick in a box

oh god what's inside?!?!

okay it's not really my dick in a box but i pride myself on having a lyrically relevant title that relates to that day's content and finding a decent song about parcels, packages or deliveries is hard work and, frankly, after a long ass day it's not the kind of thing i'm too worried about doing. but yes, you've guessed it (/i revealed it) - i got a parcel today and that's basically a good enough reason to write a blog is it not? it'll be really quick i promise. short and sweet, just like me "LOL JK" i'm awkward and bitter whoops.

today is where your book begins

let's do this

i'm keen to get in and get out tonight just because i've spent all day flapping over everything and don't want this blog to become a flappy place. we're looking at dedication, motivation and direction today: three things which i'm certainly lacking in. i don't have a quick fix (does anybody?) but there's one thing which i'm more than determined to try again and that is "nanowrimo". never heard of it? don't worry, neither had i until a year ago and look at us now.

pick my petals off and make my heart explode

little bear helping me write

do you know what? today's been okay by all accounts. i woke up in a stinker of a mood and mentally prepped myself for a day of frustration and anxiety but instead, it's turned into the utmost productive and simultaneously relaxed day in a while. my "good" mood might be short lived but at least it's been lived in at all thus i'm taking this happiness and running with it so i can write you something that won't make you want to go bridge jumping as much as my past few slithers of fury. 

leave me alone i'm lonely

let's be social, okay? 

apparently humans are social animals. they thrive in social situations and a lot of their happiness is centred around this (i should probably say "we" not them, i'm still a human just about). you mightn't think it but i'm not very social. i cope alright in familiar scenarios but being switched on all the time is bloody draining and i like nothing better than sitting by myself after a long day, blogging about what i've bought before having a bath and reading a book. i'm beginning to understand why i'm 23 and single.

but don't deny the animal

cosmic tape. how 2014 

the illness has started to wane a little today but so too has the faux happiness that came alongside the exhaustion. i couldn't sleep last night so at about 3am i was merrily jotting down all the productive things i could do over the course of my weekend. to be fair, i did sort a lot of odds and sods today and wrote an overdue letter to a far away friend (hannah, be excited) but i did something which nobody will find surprising and everyone will love which got me a trifle distracted. are you ready for this? are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

and this house just ain't no home

WHAT WILL THIS BECOME?

what with my mood plummeting after a second day of sickness and my overdue (now impending) meltdown on the horizon, i thought it best to get off of my pathetic ass (again, metaphorical not literal. well i am a slim white man so literally too fyi) and try to do something. here's some advice: if you're still really ill, don't try to do anything. it's really awful and can make you feel impossibly worse. take heed of my ellie goulding bicep tattoo: "every fire is a lesson learned" and BOY do i have some internal burns from an ikea trip with mon pere (no hard feelings gary)

if it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?

50% sat fat NO REGRETS

if today was a person, i would punch them right in the gooch. now that we've got the negativity out of the way, what the fuck can i talk about? i'm struggling for ideas recently and would love some feedback. maybe i'll make a poll or a quiz? something alone those lines? would you guys be into that? can i ask any more questions here? is it likely that you'd reply? is it socially/dietarily acceptable that i've eaten a whole packet of biscuits in one sitting today? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE?

make it strong, shine a light and send it on

a 3 year old took this photo of me

today is a harsh comedown from the delightful wedding and i feel like i've taken one step forward and two steps back. waking up in the dank hotel room this morning, after four words my brother said "are you feeling alright? are you low again or just apathetic?" other people realising i am feeling like shit is not acceptable: i've had 23 years to perfect this brave face. so it's time to think about the things which have made me happy and strive for that again. reflection time kids, buckle up.

the best things in life are free

my body is ready

today is the day we've all (...) been waiting for. it's giveaway day! GIVEADAY. nope, doesn't really work sorry. but it really is the day when i round up the names of all of you babes who have spoken to me about basically anything related to "oh, mitch please!" and let the internet decide which diamond i give wonderful things to. if i had it my way, i would give stuff to everyone. but i'm not rich or jesus so two of you will have to do for now. sorry everyone else xo